Hey guys, it's your turn now to become mothers! | An Alternative View | Diana Diamond | Palo Alto Online |

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An Alternative View

By Diana Diamond

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About this blog: So much is right — and wrong — about what is happening in Palo Alto. In this blog I want to discuss all that with you. I know many residents care about this town, and I want to explore our collective interests to help ...  (More)

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Hey guys, it's your turn now to become mothers!

Uploaded: Sep 6, 2021
I am tired of those men, particularly the males in the Texas legislature, dictating what women can, and cannot do, with their own bodies. That's been a BIG topic among my friends here in Palo Alto who are discussing and debating how to turn this draconian mew Texas anti-abortion law around. My idea: It's time for we women to decide just what men can and cannot do with their bodies!

Forget about little things like purchasing Viagra over the counter. And put aside the fact that for years any woman who wanted birth control pills had to get a prescription for a packet of pills. As for morning-after pills, they are only effective before the embryo implants itself on the ovarian wall -- usually about 48 hours or so. One morning-after brand is available without a prescription, but the other brand requires a doctor's prescription, which is hard to do if you had sex on a Saturday night and it's Labor Day weekend so no doctor is reachable until Tuesday. By that time the pill won't work.

I looked at the 10 most popular male enhancement pills. Not one required a prescription.

But my idea is unique. We women have had our turn for centuries in carrying and bearing a baby, so now it's time for men to have the babies. Equal rights, right?

In my scenario, the procedure is a bit tricky. It would involve a transplant of some female organs. Of course, men would have to take testosterone-lowering pills and estrogen-increasing pills, but in today's scientific medical age, it could be done. I do admit I haven't figured out the plumbing reconfiguration that would be needed, but some researcher will figure that out.

So, the right things happen. And soon the guy learns that indeed he is pregnant. Because he is larger than a woman, the baby will need to grow a bit more, so let's say pregnancy lasts 18, not nine months.

Here's where the Texas law comes in. The man is pregnant, and let us assume he then decides he doesn't want to go through all this. Although, now the problem is that the new Texas law says one can only have an abortion during the first six weeks to qualify for an abortion. The way the state counts is from the end of the previous period. The next one will come four weeks later -- that means four of the six weeks have occurred before a woman even know if she is pregnant, with only two weeks left to get a legal abortion. After that, a flat prohibition is in effect -- even if rape or incest is the cause of the pregnancy. Ugh.

Once he gets pregnant, his doctor says no alcohol permitted, because it may damage the baby; ditto with smoking. And i's best if he only gains about 20 pounds, which includes the weight of the baby.

Warning -- he may experience morning sickness for weeks, find himself eating lots of saltines, gaining weight, and getting bigger and bigger which will require new trousers and shirts. Finally, he goes into labor -- let's say for three days, 24 hours a day. It's very painful. I know.

And then he will realize what women go through each time they get pregnant.

At least he has purchased a crib, a stroller, a bassinet, 100s of diapers, etc. and converted his home office into the baby's room.

The man delivers a son, and he is very happy. His wife kisses and congratulates him and goes off to work, so the next day he goes home and realizes that he now has to feed the infant six or eight times a day, and then change the baby's diapers -- frequently. He burps the baby and all the upchucked milk lands on his shirt back.

What fun -- and such a new experience.

Your wife has a full-time job with lots of travel, so you and baby are alone all day for six months, during which time you have to search for a good, competent, caring, consistent babysitter, so you can go back to work. The weekly charges are overwhelming, but you need to work -- and don't forget to have breast milk bottled daily for your son to drink a couple of times each day.

Once back on the job, you find yourself worrying about your baby all day long but that's the way motherhood works, which is good.

Good luck, have fun, good wishes, and Happy Mother's Day! That's the day each year we tell you how much we appreciate all you do and take you out for brunch!

Get the message, male Texas legislators?

P.S. I've had four sons and would never trade the wonderful experience of raising them.
Democracy.
What is it worth to you?

Comments

 +   33 people like this
Posted by Caryn Jeffries, a resident of Palo Alto Hills,
on Sep 6, 2021 at 7:25 pm

Caryn Jeffries is a registered user.

There's a simpler solution and perhaps others might consider doing what we did. After our first and only child, it was pre-agreed that my husband would get a vasectomy. He held up to his end of the bargain and sex has once more become an enjoyable recreational outlet with no consequences. It has been said that 'children are God's punishment for having sex' and married couples can easily dodge the extra bullets with a man agreeing to and taking responsibility for a clip job. Interestingly enough my husband mentioned the procedure wasn't all that bad. The urologist injects a local anesthetic and after it takes effect, he makes an incision. After locating the two vas defrens [sic], the urologist cuts them and cauterizes the tubes. Lastly an easy closure with crazy glue. The only apparent discomfort occurs while the urologist is tugging away at the tubes in order to locate/cut/cauterize them followed by the subsequent smell of burning tissue. No big deal.


 +   8 people like this
Posted by Jennifer, a resident of another community,
on Sep 6, 2021 at 8:00 pm

Jennifer is a registered user.

Since most women who have abortions are single and under thirty, married people who agree to a husband's vasectomy is beside the point. Who cares what responsible, married people do within their marriage. I'm pro-choice, but this is a concern for Texans, not Californians. Texas is a very conservative state, and a lot of Texans are probably pro-life. Californians worried about what goes on in Texas is as silly as people out of state worrying about the California recall.


 +   29 people like this
Posted by Eeyore (formerly StarSpring), a resident of Adobe-Meadow,
on Sep 7, 2021 at 7:46 am

Eeyore (formerly StarSpring) is a registered user.

Proud owner of a vasectomy here. Sorry to say but Viagra and analogues does require a prescription. Sorrier to say that there is no equivalent for women.


 +   7 people like this
Posted by DianaDiamond, a resident of Midtown,
on Sep 7, 2021 at 9:09 am

DianaDiamond is a registered user.

Eeoure -- Several sites online offer generic viagra pills without a prescription And Jennifer, the reason we should worry about the new Texas law is because currently the majority of the Supreme Court have decided to wait awhile until the justices decide, thus allowing the law to continue. And the Texas law is now becoming a model for several other GOP legislatures and governors to duplicate, so it's an idea that, unfortunately is reading. Diana


 +   1 person likes this
Posted by Bystander, a resident of Another Palo Alto neighborhood,
on Sep 7, 2021 at 9:48 am

Bystander is a registered user.

If you look on YouTube, there are many videos of men wearing artificial pregnancy bumps, and/or given devices that mimic the pain of contractions during pregnancy. These are in one way very amusing as it is quite apparent the men have a hard time with the change in center of gravity while doing ordinary activities, as well as dealing with the obvious unexpected pains of childbirth, but in another way they are showing just how difficult and painful pregnancy, labor and delivery can be. Perhaps we could just start with making more men experience these devices.


 +   1 person likes this
Posted by Eeyore (formerly StarSpring), a resident of Adobe-Meadow,
on Sep 7, 2021 at 10:50 am

Eeyore (formerly StarSpring) is a registered user.

Respectfully Diana, you cannot buy ED drugs in the US without a prescription. If you order them off the web then worst case they are bogus, best case some "doctor" is making bank by abusing their privilege to prescribe. The barrier to obtaining Viagra or generic equivalents is very low, but you do need to ask your doctor. It is also dirt cheap and covered by Medicare.


 +   27 people like this
Posted by Tristan Rogers, a resident of Community Center,
on Sep 7, 2021 at 12:11 pm

Tristan Rogers is a registered user.

I too am clipped and can no longer impregnate anything either moving or standing still. No more paternity issues as I am single and mingle so to speak. There are enough children in this world and I have absolutely no desire to add another branch to the family tree. BTW...I had this procedure done at 24.


 +   23 people like this
Posted by Muriel Pettibon, a resident of Old Palo Alto,
on Sep 7, 2021 at 1:06 pm

Muriel Pettibon is a registered user.

My late husband had a vasectomy back in the early 1960s after we decided we could no longer endure raising anymore brats (2 sons). Our married life then became a rejuvenated and youthful honeymoon with no concerns about any further childrearing responsibilities. As a previous poster noted, 'children are god's punishment for getting it on.'


 +   16 people like this
Posted by Jason Tarrick, a resident of Stanford,
on Sep 8, 2021 at 9:23 am

Jason Tarrick is a registered user.

I am also getting a vasectomy. My fiance and I have decided that IF we ever decide to have children, using cryogenically frozen sperm will suffice. We will also hire a surrogate mother to carry the the child through childbirth. That way my future wife's body won't go to all hell + we can continue enjoying the things we like to do with minimal encumbrances.


 +   6 people like this
Posted by Jennifer, a resident of another community,
on Sep 8, 2021 at 10:45 am

Jennifer is a registered user.

So let the Texas law become a model for other GOP legislatures. I disagree with the law, but unless you're a taxpayer in the state, it's none of your concern. There's a difference between democracy and trying to control other states to fit into your political agenda. If others want to be pro-life, that's their right. California has enough political problems of our own. Would you resent Texans telling you that you have to be pro-life?


 +   4 people like this
Posted by Eeyore (formerly StarSpring), a resident of Adobe-Meadow,
on Sep 8, 2021 at 12:03 pm

Eeyore (formerly StarSpring) is a registered user.

@Jennifer, Isn't the issue the women left behind by the Texas GOP? I think a more accurate comparison is to the women left behind in Afghanistan. It isn't like Texas mandated a 55 mph speed limit. It is causing genuine harm to a subset of the populace.


 +   2 people like this
Posted by Eeyore (formerly StarSpring), a resident of Adobe-Meadow,
on Sep 8, 2021 at 12:03 pm

Eeyore (formerly StarSpring) is a registered user.

@Jennifer, Isn't the issue the women left behind by the Texas GOP? I think a more accurate comparison is to the women left behind in Afghanistan. It isn't like Texas mandated a 55 mph speed limit. It is causing genuine harm to a subset of the populace.


 +   24 people like this
Posted by Lee+Forrest, a resident of another community,
on Sep 8, 2021 at 12:15 pm

Lee+Forrest is a registered user.

Like the old adage, "what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas"...whatever occurs in Texas (or Afghanistan) is their problem/issue/business. And if one does not approve of the local/regional practices, simply avoid going there.


 +   5 people like this
Posted by Eeyore (formerly StarSpring), a resident of Adobe-Meadow,
on Sep 8, 2021 at 12:27 pm

Eeyore (formerly StarSpring) is a registered user.

The wealthy can always escape. . . Pollution, Pregnancy, poor schools, even caring about climate change. Money is a moral PreparationH, isn't it?


 +   2 people like this
Posted by valorie25, a resident of Old Palo Alto,
on Sep 9, 2021 at 10:32 am

valorie25 is a registered user.

Doesn't anyone use birth control? If they did, none of this would be a problem. Get smart ladies and protect your bodies with birth control. Sheesh!!


 +   1 person likes this
Posted by valorie25, a resident of Old Palo Alto,
on Sep 9, 2021 at 10:33 am

valorie25 is a registered user.

Doesn't anyone use birth control? If they did, none of this would be a problem. Get smart ladies and protect your bodies with birth control. Sheesh!!


 +   3 people like this
Posted by Vickie, a resident of Barron Park,
on Sep 10, 2021 at 3:38 am

Vickie is a registered user.

No form of birth control is 100% effective. Even when both parties are responsible (men also bear responsibility for pregnancies), pregnancies occur.


 +   2 people like this
Posted by Spectator+at+Large, a resident of Leland Manor/Garland Drive,
on Sep 10, 2021 at 1:44 pm

Spectator+at+Large is a registered user.

Jason Tarrick may be in for a big surprise. It's hard to believe that his posting was serious. Maybe he was just trying to get a reaction which I've noticed are woefully in short supply. Given his attitude I hope he doesn't have any children. Spoiling his future wife's perfect figure is one of the most sexist comments imaginable. I hope he plans on putting aside money for his child to be educated in a boarding school since it seems that he may want a child in name only.


 +   1 person likes this
Posted by Zayda, a resident of Barron Park,
on Sep 11, 2021 at 12:48 am

Zayda is a registered user.

I have only one word to suggest to the women of Texas... Lysistrata


 +   1 person likes this
Posted by Zayda, a resident of Barron Park,
on Sep 11, 2021 at 12:48 am

Zayda is a registered user.

I have only one word to suggest to the women of Texas... Lysistrata


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