By Chandrama Anderson
E-mail Chandrama Anderson
About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in ... (More)
About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in Silicon Valley for 15 years before becoming a therapist. My background in high-tech is helpful in understanding local couples' dynamics and the pressures of living here. I am a wife, mom, sister, friend, author, and lifelong advocate for causes I believe in (such as marriage equality). My parents are both deceased. My son graduated culinary school and is heading toward a degree in Sociology. I enjoy reading, hiking, water fitness, movies, 49ers and Stanford football, Giants baseball, and riding a tandem bike with my husband. I love the beach and mountains; nature is my place of restoration. In my work with couples, and in this blog, I combine knowledge from many fields to bring you my best ideas, tips, tools and skills, plus book and movie reviews, and musings to help you be your genuine self, find your own voice, and have a happy and healthy relationship. Don't be surprised to hear about brain research and business skills, self-soothing techniques from all walks of life, suggestions and experiments, and anything that lights my passion for couples. (Author and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Calif. Lic # MFC 45204.) (Hide)
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A trust walk is a process between two people in which one person has his or her eyes closed (or blind-folded), and the other leads them on a walk. The eyes-open person has to be explicit in his/her verbals instructions to avoid any and all obstacles, e.g."There's a tree root sticking up a few inches in front of your left foot."
My husband took me on a trust walk when we first met in high school, at a weekend class in human relations. It was at Camp Takona, near a lake outside Ann Arbor, MI. Several years ago, when we were first dating, he took me on another trust walk off the Baker Highway in WA. It was cold, damp, steep, and slippery. He held my hand and gave explicit instructions. After a bit I heard a roaring sound, and realized we were nearing a waterfall. Three creeks and falls merged together in this spot. It was loud and misty and wonderful.
A committed relationship is a trust walk, too. We are all blind at times, we are leading or following, we need to be explicit in our communication lest we trip.
These are skills that we may need to hone. I have reviewed several books in this blog that are great in helping with increasing understanding of yourself, your partner, and to increase skills. Check out the reading the list on my website.