Couples: Wanting, Yet Missing One Another | Couple's Net | Chandrama Anderson | Palo Alto Online |

Local Blogs

Couple's Net

By Chandrama Anderson

E-mail Chandrama Anderson

About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in ...  (More)

View all posts from Chandrama Anderson

Couples: Wanting, Yet Missing One Another

Uploaded: Aug 16, 2018
A while back while I was waiting at the traffic signal by my office I saw a woman at the crosswalk. She wanted to cross Middlefield, a busy street. She turned away from the street while pushing the button to get a “go” signal -- and completely missed her green light. By the time she turned back to the street, it was red again. She waited a bit, then began pushing the button again, seemingly wondering why her turn had not come.

It got me to thinking about couples, and how we want things from one another. Do you turn away and ask? Do you turn away and not ask? Do you hope to get what you want without asking or noticing your partner’s response to you? If so, what might be driving you to behave in these ways?

When you don’t feel connected (fighting, little sex, lack of communication, living like roommates etc.), you may miss opportunities to connect, and end up feeling less connected. And so a downward spiral continues.

What if you risk turning toward your partner? Will s/he notice that? Are you pushing each others' buttons in an attempt to connect? Are you pushing buttons unconsciously and unaware of the consequences?

I realize I’m offering more questions here than answers. Curiosity is a large part of healing disconnection in a couple (community, or the world). What are you wondering about yourself or your behavior in relation to wanting and missing opportunities with your partner?

Do you want to create an upward spiral of connection, love, communication, and passion?
We need your support now more than ever. Can we count on you?

Comments

There are no comments yet for this post
Sorry, but further commenting on this topic has been closed.

Stay up to date on local coronavirus coverage with our daily news digest email.

'A devastating impact:' The coronavirus claims Clarke's Charcoal Broiler, Mountain View's oldest operating restaurant
By Elena Kadvany | 25 comments | 8,873 views

The first few seconds after awakening; before I remember the virus
By Chandrama Anderson | 0 comments | 3,535 views

Can you stay healthy without making more trash?
By Sherry Listgarten | 6 comments | 2,941 views

Think about helping others in our coronavirus-affected area
By Diana Diamond | 7 comments | 2,683 views

Coronavirus Food Safety Update + New! Insider Tips
By Laura Stec | 3 comments | 2,488 views

 

DEADLINE EXTENDED

The 34th Annual Palo Alto Weekly Short Story Contest is now accepting entries for Adult, Young Adult and Teen categories. Send us your short story (2,500 words or less) and entry form by April 10, 2020. First, Second and Third Place prizes awarded in each category. Sponsored by Kepler's Books, Linden Tree Books and Bell's Books.

Contest Details