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By Chandrama Anderson

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About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and have lived in and around Palo Alto since 1969. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in Silicon Valley for 15 years before becoming a therapist. My background i...  (More)

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One Way to Regain Connection in Your Relationship

Uploaded: Oct 6, 2016
One of the main things that leads to emotional separation in couples is loss of connection. Daily life gets in the way, work, kids, responsibilities, chores, and a myriad of other calls on your time.

If you don't make time for your marriage and each other, it takes a toll on your relationship, and your happiness. And if you don’t take care of your relationship daily, the smallest changes in direction may become big over time.

Getaways are one way for couples to reconnect and enjoy each other. They are opportunities to remember how you were together in the beginning, and to help your love continue to grow.

Here are three getaway ideas, places I've gone, and I think you'll really enjoy them.

Just this past weekend, my husband and I had a getaway to the Hyatt Regency in Monterey. We ate delicious food (a special seafood/steak dinner selected by the executive chef). We walked the entire complex, (30 buildings on 22 acres). There was a golf course outside our window (we actually heard 'fore' once, then a second time more urgently), an on-site Spa, three restaurants, and a very responsive staff (Union, I'm told).

On Saturday we got a lunch to go from Knuckles sports bar, and drove about 10 minutes south on Highway 1 to a non-descript pull out, got our beach chairs and hats, and walked a short distance to an exquisite view of the coast. We ate, and then spent two hours just enjoying the breaking turquoise waves over the rocks, sending up sprays of foam.
We also saw two or three dolphins swimming, and maybe a few otters (although that might've been wishful thinking!) We just enjoyed being together, relaxing in the October afternoon sun.

In the later afternoon we relaxed and read, and had a snack at the outdoor seating area near the golf course. They have heaters for the cooler times. We then went to dinner at Tusca, one of the on-site restaurants. They have live jazz on Friday and Saturday night, so we could hear that from our table. My husband was a music major in college and recognized most of the tunes.

The Hyatt Regency is child and pet friendly, although you have to keep your dog with you. They have multiple pools, a workout room, shuffleboard, and a fire pit at night where you can make Smores.

On Sunday, we had a leisurely breakfast, and then headed out to Carmel, about five minutes away. After an hour on the beach there watching the waves, dogs, and kids getting soaked, we headed up the street for lunch. Our next stop was the Point Pinos lighthouse for a self-guided tour. There were women lighthouse administrators in Victorian times!

We had dinner in Santa Cruz on our way back. My husband said he hadn't been so relaxed in a long time. It was a good reminder just how much we need getaways, too.

Another wonderful place to get away is to the Wharfside Bed (Boat) and Breakfast in Friday Harbor Washington, on San Juan Island.

If you've never been there, it's so worth going. It’s just unbelievably beautiful. The B&B is a 60 foot boat called the Slow Season. It's anchored in the harbor which is lovely. We stayed there at Thanksgiving a couple of years ago.

There are two state rooms below, and they are separated in that you have to come up on deck to get to the other one, which gives a great deal of privacy. The sky-lit main salon is very spacious and comfortable. There are three breakfast choices. From the B&B in the harbor, you can walk into town for restaurants, shopping, or a movie. You can also drive around the island, and perhaps even see Orcas (I've never seen an Orca when I've gone; he always sees them when he's there without me. I now joke with him that they are animatronic to bring in the tourists!).

Getting to Friday Harbor is either by plane from Seattle (the sea plane lands directly in the harbor), or by ferry from Anacortes. The owners of the Wharfside B&B have lived in Friday Harbor off and on for 40 years, and have owned other bed-and-breakfasts. They make your stay relaxing and wonderful.

A third getaway is on the east side of the Sierra at the Virginia Creek Settlement. Lodging ranges from covered wagons (authentic), which we stayed in with our dog, to a motel, The Suite, Housekeeping Cabins, and campground. They have an on-site restaurant as well.

From there you can explore Mono Lake, the old mining town of Bodie, and the desert in general. While you're there, be sure to stop at the Whoa Nelli Deli at the Mobil station in Lee Vining for great food such as lobster taquitos, salads, wild buffalo meat loaf, ribs etc. They serve breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

I've shared three very different getaway options with you. Let me know if you go, and how you like them. If you have other favorites of your own, get outta town.

The important thing is to actually go and enjoy your time together.

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