By Chandrama Anderson
E-mail Chandrama Anderson
About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in ... (More)
About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in Silicon Valley for 15 years before becoming a therapist. My background in high-tech is helpful in understanding local couples' dynamics and the pressures of living here. I am a wife, mom, sister, friend, author, and lifelong advocate for causes I believe in (such as marriage equality). My parents are both deceased. My son graduated culinary school and is heading toward a degree in Sociology. I enjoy reading, hiking, water fitness, movies, 49ers and Stanford football, Giants baseball, and riding a tandem bike with my husband. I love the beach and mountains; nature is my place of restoration. In my work with couples, and in this blog, I combine knowledge from many fields to bring you my best ideas, tips, tools and skills, plus book and movie reviews, and musings to help you be your genuine self, find your own voice, and have a happy and healthy relationship. Don't be surprised to hear about brain research and business skills, self-soothing techniques from all walks of life, suggestions and experiments, and anything that lights my passion for couples. (Author and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Calif. Lic # MFC 45204.) (Hide)
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I know many of you have extremely busy lives and the week gets away from you. Many couples end up exhausted and feeling disconnected by Friday. Here’s a simple and important ritual that a dear friend shared with me to be done every Friday with your beloved.
You’ll need eight candles:
Light the first one, and talk about Self - how are you?
Light the second one, and talk about your Relationship - how are "we"?
Light the third one, and talk about Family - who are you concerned about?
Light the fourth one, and talk about Friends - what's new; good and bad?
Light the fifth one, and talk about your Career - what's going on at work?
Light the sixth one, and talk about Community - civic relationships?
Light the seventh one, and talk about World - reactions to geo-political / environmental developments?
Light the eighth one, and talk about Spirit – what that means to you, how is your own spirit?
By the end, your eight candles will be burning, giving light and hope into your life. You’ll feel connected again, and know what’s going on with each other. You’ll know what areas your beloved may want or need support about.
I’m going to order a lot of candles, and we’ll be doing this at my house.
Let me know how it goes, what changes you notice in your relationship? How it helps you as a couple? Does it affect your sex life?