How Would You Two Handle a Terminal Diagnosis? | Couple's Net | Chandrama Anderson | Palo Alto Online |

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Couple's Net

By Chandrama Anderson

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About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and have lived in and around Palo Alto since 1969. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in Silicon Valley for 15 years before becoming a therapist. My background i...  (More)

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How Would You Two Handle a Terminal Diagnosis?

Uploaded: Jul 14, 2016
I watched the moving video of Craig Sager receiving the Jimmy V award at the ESPYS. He had on another one of his outrageous jackets.

Craig thanked his wife, and talked about how they are in the process together; whatever it is, she's right there with him. He talked about the power of love. He acknowledged his kids, right after thanking his wife. Craig also spoke about time, and essentially how we each get to choose what to do with each and every day we have here.

How do you want to spend your time? Being kind, loving and connected with one another? Or fighting, arguing, being right, and disconnected? Don't start off a conversation in an accusing way. Say, hey I noticed this, and it's not working for me, it hurts my feelings, or that crosses my boundaries.

Or, try, Hi, my beloved. Here are a few things I truly am amazed by about you.

Your choice -- every day.

Comments

 +  Like this comment
Posted by Frank1961, a resident of Atherton: Lindenwood,
on Jul 15, 2016 at 5:39 am

Frank1961 is a registered user.

I don't know how I would handle the terminal diagnosis... It would be such a shock probably. I think nobody knows how it feels like, except for those who, unfortunately, heard such thing.
Anyway, I am happy that Craig Sager got this award, he is really great. I used to love his interviews with Kevin Garnett - check it, it is hilarious.

Frank


 +   9 people like this
Posted by Sarah, a resident of Menlo Park: Downtown,
on Jul 15, 2016 at 6:13 am

As one who went through this with my husband (brain tumor GBM) you take each day as it comes and be thankful for each day you have with them. The time goes too fast and then suddenly they are gone. You often think back I should have done this or that with them, but at the time you are just in a confused state of what is going on.


 +  Like this comment
Posted by Chandrama Anderson, a Palo Alto Online blogger,
on Jul 18, 2016 at 2:11 pm

Chandrama Anderson is a registered user.

Hi Sarah, I am so sorry to hear about your husband. You're right in that we have regrets about what we did or didn't say or ask, and we are doing the best we can. Your love to him was the most important thing. There are many grief resources available. If you want any information on those, let me know.



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