A Moment of Silence (and then action) for the Families and Loved Ones in Orlando | Couple's Net | Chandrama Anderson | Palo Alto Online |

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By Chandrama Anderson

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About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and have lived in and around Palo Alto since 1969. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in Silicon Valley for 15 years before becoming a therapist. My background i...  (More)

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A Moment of Silence (and then action) for the Families and Loved Ones in Orlando

Uploaded: Jun 12, 2016
This shooting in the gay bar in Orlando is so horrifying, that it is hard to find words for it.

It seems that most of the random shootings, which are also horrifying, are not targeted at a specific group (although plenty of that has happened throughout history).

This was an attack especially on the LGBT community. Most of you likely know someone who is LGBT; even if s/he is not out to you.

Please take time to hold vigil for the families and loved ones who died, and those who are injured.

Then ask yourself, "What can I do?" And then do it -- large, medium, or small -- it doesn't matter. Let's not be apathetic.

Update: This amazing poem came into my inbox today, and the author gave permission for me to post it here. It's her "action" after Orlando.

Pulse Night Club Orlando, FL 6/12/16, 1:49 am

I am Xavier, I am Juan, I am Enrique
You are Amanda, Frankie and Angel
We are Mercedes, Christopher and Luis
We are 6 degrees of separation
Which means there is no separation

If I could have been there at 1:49 am
I would have taken each person by the hand
Led them outside said, Look at those stars
Go home now - be safe

If I could have been there at 12:49 am
I would have kept Omar Mateen
From entering
Instead I’d take his hand
Say go home, go home
To your heart
Go home to your humanity
There you can find safety
There you will find you are not separate

I would, if I could, turn his hate into tears
I would say the distance between
Your dreams and my longing is
The distance between
Each heartbeat
I would say that we are all us
There is no you and them
Only the disconnections
of you/them in your own heart

It’s the truth that hurts the most
If I had been there at 1:49 am
I could not have done a thing

Nor could God
God gave us choice and will
We choose what we will
God says choose life
Choose life

This night
God cries with us
And asks us to remember
They are us

Choose love
Choose life

- Sally Churgel

Comments

 +   15 people like this
Posted by WhatAboutSanJose?, a resident of Old Mountain View,
on Jun 16, 2016 at 10:36 am

WhatAboutSanJose? is a registered user.

I too was upset that another terrorist act had been committed. I have many acquaintances and co-workers that are part of the LGBT community and I am glad to see that there are people speaking up and speaking out fo them.

However, there was another terrorist incident in San Jose that no one is talking about because it has become acceptable to target this particular minority. I am speaking of the innocent people at the Trump rally that were viciously attacked without any provocation. The terrorists (make no mistake, the attacks were a deliberate attempt to create an atmosphere of fear) carried out their planned attacks on targets of opportunity, which included women, children, minorities, and LGBT persons for no other reason than the hatred and intolerance of diverse opinion that has been the hallmark of the Bay Area for the last 15 years!

When I hear people talk about how 'tolerant' people in the Bay Area are, I just laugh. The attacks on Trump supporters are the latest and most violent escalation of Progressive violence against Conservatives that has been going on for years. Conservatives have no protections under the law, because we are not a politically protected class and the media turns a blind eye whenever we are attacked or blames the victims.

I have watched and listened as some of the same people who condemn the attacks in Orlando, took glee in and celebrated the attacks in San Jose saying how the people there 'deserved what they got because they are racist, bigoted, anti-immigrant, homophobes.'

Orlando is a great example of how easy it is to kill after you marginalize, de-humanie, and degrade others. Don't think it can't happen here. It was just pure luck that none of the Trump supporters was killed as the San Jose Police did nothing but stand and watch!


 +   1 person likes this
Posted by MaxJohnny, a resident of Midtown,
on Jun 16, 2016 at 11:25 pm

MaxJohnny is a registered user.

@WhataboutSanJose:
I do appreciate you commenting regarding the Trump rally. I was there, and though I escaped in a different direction, I was sickened that people were violently attacked for doing nothing more than attending a political rally! The attendees were diverse, too, and the ones I interacted with were really nice. Protesting trump was fine with me! no problems with people voicing their opinion, but beating people up? That is mob rule.

That being said, I certainly wouldn't want to equate the post rally violence with this terrorist act in Orlando. I appreciate Chandrama's post, and the non-political nature of it. I think its sad that within hours, the politicking started. Mourning the dead is action. Appreciating the lives that were lost is action. It seems that some believe that after a tragedy, "that's the best time to act!" But really, it is a time of extreme emotion and really not the best time to act.

I think overly emotional arguments on all sides are clouding our collective judgement. We shouldn't assume the worst about our fellow citizens. We need to show that we respect other people's opinions and earn their trust. If there is no trust, then you just have a race to polar opposites, and firm determination to not give up any ground.


 +  Like this comment
Posted by MaxJohnny, a resident of Midtown,
on Jun 16, 2016 at 11:26 pm

MaxJohnny is a registered user.

@WhataboutSanJose:
I do appreciate you commenting regarding the Trump rally. I was there, and though I escaped in a different direction, I was sickened that people were violently attacked for doing nothing more than attending a political rally! The attendees were diverse, too, and the ones I interacted with were really nice. Protesting trump was fine with me! no problems with people voicing their opinion, but beating people up? That is mob rule.

That being said, I certainly wouldn't want to equate the post rally violence with this terrorist act in Orlando. I appreciate Chandrama's post, and the non-political nature of it. I think its sad that within hours, the politicking started. Mourning the dead is action. Appreciating the lives that were lost is action. It seems that some believe that after a tragedy, "that's the best time to act!" But really, it is a time of extreme emotion and really not the best time to act.

I think overly emotional arguments on all sides are clouding our collective judgement. We shouldn't assume the worst about our fellow citizens. We need to show that we respect other people's opinions and earn their trust. If there is no trust, then you just have a race to polar opposites, and firm determination to not give up any ground.


 +   2 people like this
Posted by idindunuffin, a resident of Woodside: Woodside Hills,
on Jun 17, 2016 at 8:04 am

idindunuffin is a registered user.

It used to be that a true liberal would defend the right to voice ANY opinion, not just the popularly accepted view of their peers. Now, however, CA has become a place where speech other that the left of center views of the Democratic party orthodoxy are vilified, demonized and ridiculed. Question: If we're so sure of the superiority of our ideas, why not let others state their views in the bright sunlight? They'll expose themselves as fools and we can all go on with our day. Attacking others is not a first world solution to our problems.

RIP Orlando victims. It's getting a little tiresome of having vigils. Isn't it time to have an ADULT discussion about gun rights (not taking guns away, calm down) and radical Islam. Seriously, we all have a stake in this. Calling each other names when we don't agree isn't helping


 +   4 people like this
Posted by WhatAboutSanJose?, a resident of Old Mountain View,
on Jun 17, 2016 at 8:51 am

WhatAboutSanJose? is a registered user.

@MaxJohnny: I was not trying to equate the severity of the two incidents and I do not think that anything that I said can be construed as having done so. My intent was to contrast the reactions between one type of terrorism and another and to bring awareness to the fact that it could happen here; as well as the fact that it appears to be becoming a politically correct form of terrorism.

As far as the non-political nature of Chandrama's blog on this issue, I disagree. Politics is as much about what you don't say as what you say. If you choose to comment on one type of terrorism and not another, you are making a political decision. Her call to action also sounds like politics in my opinion. I am not saying that this is or was done on purpose, but it has the same effect.

As I stated, it was miraculous that no lives were lost in San Jose, but it wasn't for lack of trying. I also think it speaks volumes that the police stood around and watched. I feel fairly comfortable stating that had any police been present in the club in Orlando, they would not have just stood there as a mob started beating the LGBT patrons and the media certainly wouldn't have blamed the LGBT patrons.

There are enough parallels between the two incidents that I felt compelled to take action of my own to raise awareness, because clearly no one else will.

Lastly, there is nothing overly emotional about my arguments, if that is what you were suggesting. I stated facts about what happened and why. I also didn't have to assume the worst, because I saw it with my own eyes on television, both in Orlando and in San Jose. Unprovoked violence is intolerable, and just because no one dies doesn't make it ok or less bad.


 +   2 people like this
Posted by BlatherBuss, a resident of Another Palo Alto neighborhood,
on Jun 17, 2016 at 3:40 pm

BlatherBuss is a registered user.

Gun free safe spaces are kill zones for terrorists and sociopaths. Now, the California legislature is going to pass a raft of "Common Sense" gun control measures that will disarm law abiding citizens and effectively eliminate the 2d amendment.

When the threat is decentralized and activated over the internet, then our defense needs to be decentralized as well. As we have seen, the government can't prevent these incidents from happening or won't in the case of political groups like Trump supporters they oppose.

Stand up and speak out for your constitutional rights.


 +  Like this comment
Posted by SEA_SEELAM REDDY, a resident of College Terrace,
on Jun 18, 2016 at 5:01 am

SEA_SEELAM REDDY is a registered user.


It is cowardly to kill innocent people,
My prayers.


 +  Like this comment
Posted by Chandrama Anderson, a Palo Alto Online blogger,
on Jun 21, 2016 at 8:58 am

Chandrama Anderson is a registered user.

Hello,

I saw your article in the MV Voice and I was curious if you had heard of some form of gathering or community remembrance in MV around the Pulse tragedy?

We have live here for 7+ years and I am active in the community across many social and cultural layers. I am connected to folks in SCC or beyond for my own support but I am wanting to help create space for all those who do not have my resources. The homophobia here roars at times like these - I cannot even name an inclusive faith space here.

Thank you in advance if you can share if you've heard of anything and know that your article had impact.

In community,
S.C.


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