"It's Not About the Nail" | Couple's Net | Chandrama Anderson | Palo Alto Online |

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Couple's Net

By Chandrama Anderson

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About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and have lived in and around Palo Alto since 1969. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in Silicon Valley for 15 years before becoming a therapist. My background i...  (More)

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"It's Not About the Nail"

Uploaded: Mar 23, 2015
I've talked here a lot about women not wanting men to fix them, their situation, or to give advice.

Many men I've talked to who have a happy marriage said it took them a long time to learn this.

For your enjoyment and thoughts, check out this less than two minute video, It's Not About the Nail, by Jason Headley.

I'll be curious to see your comments on it.

Comments

 +   1 person likes this
Posted by RW, a resident of another community,
on Mar 24, 2015 at 9:26 am

Scott, come on. If you can't add something to the discussion, why post?


 +  Like this comment
Posted by Theresa, a resident of Crescent Park,
on Mar 26, 2015 at 9:54 am

I hate this video. It feels to me that it's putting women down and denigrating the whole concept of couples talking in ways that build both parties up.


 +  Like this comment
Posted by RW, a resident of another community,
on Mar 26, 2015 at 12:44 pm

Funny video. To me, it doesn't feel like it's putting down either men or women. Men and women often communicate differently and have different communication goals. A solution that might be so obvious to one partner (the nail) is not the goal of the other partner (the listening).

Spoiler alert-I liked the line about the sweaters the most. =)


 +  Like this comment
Posted by Julie, a resident of another community,
on Mar 28, 2015 at 11:07 pm

Um, pretty funny from the man?s perspective. But what, is he just going to pull the nail out with a hammer claw? Is he a physician or an emt? What if she bleeds out? Most people I know prefer not to have family member?s operate on them, even if they are qualified to do so.


 +  Like this comment
Posted by mitch, a resident of another community,
on Apr 15, 2015 at 6:04 pm

FYI, the director is trying to point out that sometimes there is an 'easy' solution to some things. There is an interview with the director on the Splice community website.

?The idea for this script actually came out of a conversation with my wife about the importance of listening. I said to her, 'Yes, sometimes I just need to listen. But sometimes there?s a solution. Sometimes it?s like you?ve got a nail in your head and you?re complaining about a headache.' Later, we were out to dinner with some friends when my wife said, ?Jason has this thing about a nail in my head.? Our friend said, ?You should do a short about that.? I realized, 'Oh my gosh you're right'."


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What Are Your Gifts that Must Be Shared?
By Chandrama Anderson | 1 comment | 1,335 views

 

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