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Couple's Net

By Chandrama Anderson

E-mail Chandrama Anderson

About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in ...  (More)

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Medical

Uploaded: Sep 18, 2014
My husband is having shoulder surgery as I write. Came home to eat and back to the hospital.

I'll post again soon.
We need your support now more than ever. Can we count on you?

Comments

 +   3 people like this
Posted by Joseph Pulitzer, a resident of Castro City,
on Sep 24, 2014 at 4:25 pm

Contest over.


 +   3 people like this
Posted by Chandrama Anderson, a Palo Alto Online blogger,
on Sep 25, 2014 at 10:27 am

Chandrama Anderson is a registered user.

When I read your reply, at first I felt defensive. When that wave passed, I realized you have given me the opportunity to talk about empathy, and how most often that would be a more useful response if you want to be closer and more connected to your beloved.

Here's how I would say this if we were in person: "When I heard 'Contest over' I feel defensive. What I wish you had said was something along the lines of "Hope he's recovering well," or "Thanks for letting us know, looking forward to the next post."

Humor or sarcasm can work with some people, some of the time. I believe that empathy works most of the time, with most people.


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