You raised some really good points I hadn\\\'t considered about the sexism of this policy. That said it is my understanding that the restrictive dress for the girls is entirely due to fact that they had issues with the boys being able to concentrate when girls dressed less modestly. Not saying I agree with the policy, but, I imagine this is what would be cited for justification.

Who cares if they boys can't concentrate? It's their own fault if they can't control themselves. Why not teach the boys to not be such pervs instead of shaming preteen/teenage girls for being "immodest"?

I am in complete agreement with a dress code like this and wish it was in elementary and high schools also. But, I have another take on this.

Instead of this being a dress code for students who may decide to come to school dressed more suitably for a day at the beach, or to do some construction work on your home I see it as a learning tool. When you see your child's teacher for a parent meeting, would you expect to see them with sagging pants or in a spaghetti top with short shorts? I think it is fair to say that the school staff should be dressed appropriately for professional respect from coworkers, students and parents. Likewise, why shouldn't our children be dressed to a similar standard. School is preparing them for a future where they need to be prepared for their future lives. Part of that preparation should be teaching them that taking a responsible attitude to the way they dress will make the right sort of impression to those who will be employing them in the future. If they are allowed to dress to the lowest standards at school and not suffer any type of consequences, will give them the impression that they can do the same when they start working. Teaching them to dress to a basic standard at school will let them see that there is a time when they should be paying attention to what they wear. If they learn to follow the written dress code for school, then it will be easier for them to understand how to follow the unwritten dress code when they get jobs, whether it be a professional, career job in the future, or an after school or summer job.

While I make sure that my daughter looks decent going to school, some of these rules are completely off. The ban for something as practical as leggings is ridiculous, especially considering that skinny jeans are ok.
But it starts way earlier than middle school for girls... When my daughter was 4, we were reminded that she could not participate to her swimming class without "a top" (she was wearing only a bottom that day). I argued that I did not see too much difference between her and the boy next lane in terms of breast development. But sadly, I ended up complying so that she did not feel uncomfortable since the comment was made directly to her before they spoke to us.
The fact that the rationale for dress code in middle school could be that boys get distracted reminds me of some of the reasons why women need to be completely covered under extremist regimes, no matter if that is their choice or not.

Boys need to be responsible for themselves. It's a slippery slope when you make girls responsible for the repercussions of the male gaze.

There is always a "dress" code. Middle school is a nice time to have a "wardrobe" discussion.

I worked at a large Bay Area software company where we had to constantly discuss "wardrobe" with some of the employees before someone else might have become overwhelmed enough to turn it into an HR issue. Those employees were mostly completely unaware of the impact of graphics, slogans or night club fashion might have on their employment or coworkers.

Pre-teens and early teens (of either gender) aren't exactly fully developed when it comes to managing behavior. My experience when our kids went through middle school is that both genders can do not-so-well-thought-out actions. And both genders are definitely fascinated by the opposite sex.

I would argue that the dress code applies to boys more than you realize. For example, the pants code for holes. And the potential for short shorts for boys is coming as the latest boardshorts style and "chubbys" shorts only have a 5 inch inseam. And there was a time when boys wore cropped/muscle t-shirts to school. Who knows when that trend may resurface.

Do you honestly think that the people (likely both men and women mind you) who developed this dress code were trying in anyway to be sexist? It was in response to challenges or issues they faced and it was likely their best attempt to address them fairly. I'm pretty confident they weren't trying to send any "message" to young girls. It's like security when you fly. You have it in place when you look at things from a macro level and not a micro one. I'd love to not have to go through the metal detectors. Do I think I'm a criminal because I do, do my children? Did my parents just simply explain that to me? Dress codes are not instituted to oppress any single person or gender, they're in place to ensure a consistent and safe experience for all. Think of the alternative, no dress code at all? Would you want your daughter seeing explicit words on shirts or extreme, distracting fashions all in the name of individuality -- then explaining to her that it's someone's "right" to distract 29 other students in the class? Would no code offer a more suitable environment for the hundreds of students that are attending middle school together? Are boys and girls really adding up the number of rules that they think apply to them, then thinking, is that perfectly fair? Equality doesn't mean things have to be exactly the same. Have you considered just home schooling your daughter and allowing her to wear whatever she wants all the time?

MP Parent and Crescent Park Dad are correct.

It's not a message to specific groups of people. The point is to minimize factors that distract from the primary focus of schools: SO KIDS CAN GET EDUCATIONS. The same goes to gang colors, etc. The kids can wear whatever they want off-campus (school related activities still fall under the jurisdiction of the school district).

Heck, around here, a large number of these kids violate their school dress codes during the summer. That's fine because they're not in an educational situation while they hang out at the mall, downtown, at concerts, etc. Bringing attention to yourself is okay in those situations because you aren't in classroom where the focus should be on the education (teacher, lectures, assignments, etc.).

Just because your kid's attire doesn't bother *YOU* doesn't mean that it won't bother anyone else.

Teachers have kids too. It's not some sort of puritanical witch hunt.

Note that today's juvenile automobile drivers are under a much more strict set of regulations than teen drivers from decades ago. Those restrictions were created because of observed risks in juvenile driving: much higher accident rates due to inattention, magnified when friends were in the car and in a social interaction becomes more important than safely piloting a two-ton vehicle.

It's worth pointing out that if your kid is swimming, diving, playing water polo, gymnastics, or involved in a handful of other sports or activities (jazz dance, etc.), they are likely wearing a very form fitting, possibly skimpy uniform. Thus, it is not about "body image".

It's about appropriate attire for the situational context. As an adult you are free to make those decisions yourself (and suffer the consequences if you show up at the board meeting in lingerie). However, that's not a judgment call that should be left to KIDS IN AN EDUCATIONAL SETTING.

It's a poignant post. It's about the small steps out of childhood, which parents often view with mixed feelings. One of the tells, I think, to the appropriateness of the rules is that the girls have talked about it all summer. You'd be hard-pressed to find two boys who would talk about it for 30 seconds.

Teachers have kids too. It's not some sort of puritanical witch hunt..I am in complete agreement with a dress code like this and wish it was in elementary and high schools also. But, I have another take on this.

Web Link

MOST SCHOOLS WITH UNIFORMS OR STRICT DRESS CODES GO FAR BEYOND WHAT YOUR SCHOOLhY DOES FOR BOYS TOO. THEY BAN ALL T-SHIRTS (ie. require collars) and BAN ALL JEANS (not just saggy ones). THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH WEARING SUCH CASUAL CLOTHES FOR DAILY SCHOOL WEAR. THESE ARE STUDENTS--NOT EMPLOYEES!And SOME OF the best companies permiut such casual wear--INTEL, APPLE AND FACEBOOK

I grew up in the fifties and sixties and this is how it was then. We dressed for school, and that meant "ivy league" slacks, collared shirts, light jacket, and regular shoes. After school we would change into jeans, tennis shoes, and t-shirts. Girls wore dresses to school, sweaters, regular shoes, no pants were allowed. After school they would change into "pedal pushers," and blouses for play. Even through high school at Cubberley this was the universal standard and it worked. I never remembered any problems because this was the dress code and we and our parents respected that. If that premise cannot be maintained in some degree today then I believe school uniforms would solve a lot of problems.

I completely agree with the parents who write about learning appropriate attire for various occasions. At the end of every summer, I point out my daughter's shorts which are now too short for school but she can wear at home. With my son, it's an emphasis on not looking too sloppy. If the schools didn't have their own dress codes, my kids would still have to pass mine.

TO DENNIS ---IN PHOENIX, WHERE I LIVED IN THE 50s AND 60s, no one wore fancy formal clothes like you did to school.. ALL males wore jeans, and tops were 2/3 tees and 1/3 button-up collared shirts. Polos didn't even exist then. NO ONE sought stricter dress codes or uniforms then; most of the comntroversy was by girls wanting to wear boy-type pants and other clothes.
IF EVERYONE WAS HAPPY in your area WITH SUCH FORMAL CLOTHES FOR SCHOOL---FINE. But no one in Phx would have accepted a ban on casual clothes for school! And we did indeed pay attention to our lessons: NO ONE USED SCHOOL AS A "fashion show."

The problem probably originates in the fashion industry where provocative and sexy clothing attracts viewing and buying. Problem is, the girls pay attention to it.
I imagine there will eventually be a reaction to the way some women now dress to work, 5" heels, short skirts and low cut tops. It has been dubbed Slutware. In fact, that was the uniform of streetwalkers.
Mid-thigh shorts and cover your underwear is a problem?

We want kids to focus on school and dress appropriately, but when they are at the ultimate awkward age physically, the last thing we need to do is make either boys or girls feel like their bodies are inappropriate or dangerous. I think this is a great thing to bring to the attention of your school PTA so they could suggest modifying the wording for next year.

While I see value in having a dress code, (except for leggings which I personally think is a ridiculous rule, are yoga pants leggings or yoga pants? If you are wearing leggings under a dress or tunic are they tights or leggings?), these rules could easily be unisex rules. Undergarments must be covered (that covers both bras and sagging pants), shoulders and midriffs must be covered. Shorts should be as long as your fingertips, no holes in jeans above mid-thigh, no inappropriate logos. You get the idea.

BTW - when my kids were in middle school, the home ec teacher used to staple boys shorts to their shirts if their shorts were sagging. They got the point and got a laugh...

Mom, nobody is implying that their "bodies are inappropriate or dangerous." That is a misunderstanding of the problem and of the issue.
Their bodies are vulnerable. Especially girls. Does this need further explanation?
Displaying their sexual parts and then expecting those who are attracted to it to be circumspect is asking alot. The boys are responsible for their behavior, of course, but the girls are pushing the limits. Why are they displaying so much? Arguing about leggings is just silly.
Teens aren't very smart about these things but that's what parents are for.

As I said earlier, I don't think this should be looked at as a sexual issue.

Instead it has a lot more to do with professionalism and appropriateness.

As adults, if we went to our professional jobs at Google or a law office dressed the same as many of our students dress for school, it would not be appropriate. For this reason, it should not be appropriate for our school kids to dress in such a manner. We would not want their teachers appearing in the classroom dressed like this, so why should we want our kids to dress like this for school.

Many of the places that typically employ young people provide shirts for their employees to wear. This is for two reasons. One it is a tool for identifying the employees, but another reason is because young people do not seem to know how to dress for a job. From restaurants to movie theaters, young people are being given work appropriate clothing because they have not been taught how to dress for work. By having a dress code in school we are teaching appropriate dress rules for our kids' futures. By parents calling it sexist, and parents not supporting the rules for both boys and girls, it is making it something it is not intended to be.

TO MOTHER OF 4--I AGREE KIDS MUST DRESS APPROPRIATELY FOR ALL OCCASIONS--INCLUDING SCHOOL. BUT YOU ARE DEAD WRONG THAT IT IS THE GOV'T'S JOB TO REQUIRE UNIFORM DRESS IN PUBLIC SCHOOLS. KIDS ARE REQUIRED TO GO TO SCHOOL--BUT THERE ARE MANY JOBS THAT DON'T REQUIRE DRESSING UP. WOULD YOU PREFER YOUR KIDS TO PLAN A CAREER AT TACO BELL OR AT APPLE OR INTEL?? TACO BELL REQUIRES POLO SHIRTS WHILE EVEN 100K ENGINEERS AT INTEL OR APPLE CAN WORK IN TEES AND JEANS IF THEY WISH!!! KIDS SHOULD BE ABLE TO WEAR APPROPRIATE CASUAL STREET CLOTHES AT SCHOOL. DO YOU REALLY DISAGREE??????????//

Nothing wrong with tees and jeans for school or work. We are talking about short shorts, jeans with holes above mid thigh, underwear showing, midriff showing, etc. I doubt if anyone working at Apple or Intel would do well if they dressed like that for work. I agree it is not the Government's job to require uniforms, but it may well be the school administration's job to set a standard amongst the student body.

As you say, appropriate casual street clothes is fine. Defining appropriate is what we are discussing, not uniforms.

@KLAHR123

This is a hard issue to navigate, and I can ultimately see both sides. I have a daughter in the second year of middle school who is dressing inappropriately for our fall weather because she is so concerned about the potential humiliation of being "coded": she is wearing pants on 85 degree days, and that's uncomfortable, especially when you are biking to school, sitting in classrooms without air-conditioning, eating outdoors in the sunshine, and dashing from class to class. It's actually hard to find shorts that meet the dress code parameters: there are not many for sale that a girl with long limbs can wear, feel like she is a participant in her own cultural moment, (not her middle-aged mother's) and be within code. I think either a uniform like many public schools do or a few inches more leeway on the length of girls' shorts would be a more civilized and humane approach. I also know anecdotally that girls who are bigger--taller, heavier, more developed--are singled out for breaking code while slight, petite girls can skate around the rules, mostly, I suppose because scantier clothing is less evident when there is less of the girl in it! It seems pretty clear to me that such inconsistencies of enforcement have a dangerous potential to make developing girls ashamed of their bodies, as others have pointed out. I'm very glad to see this subject raised here!

TO MOTHER OF 4--As I suspected, we actually totally agree. BUT APPARENTLY YOU ARE NOT AWARE THAT ACROSS THE NATION, MANY PARENTS AND SCHOOL OFFICIALS ARE NOT SATISFIED BY OUR DEFINITION OF "school-appropriate clothes." Rather, using SOME OF YOUR ARGUMENTS ABOUT SCHOOL=WORK, they DO INSIST on banning tees snd jeans and most colors and patterns--with EXPULSION AS THE ULTIMATE PENALTY,EG--DETROIT, CLEVELAND, CHICAGO, PHILADELPHIA and even HUNDREDS of smaller commuinities--especially in the South and New Jersey!!! I have been fighting this nonsense with only limited success FOR A DECADE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I WOULD BE THRILLED TO HAVE YOUR HELP. PLESSE WRITE ME AT MY EMAIL [email protected]/ GARY PETER KLAHR, J.D., PHOENIX

To 123, you definitely have a view point and agenda that is askew. By no means are ivy league, i.e. docker type pants, plus a collared shirt, or dresses by any definition are "fancy formal wear." You act as if the boys were wearing tuxedos to school. Maybe standards were a little more user friendly in Arizona due to the heat, but by any means back then children did not wear their "play clothes," to school. Also at school dances boys wore suits and tie and girls wore nice dresses. For goodness sake just watch old episodes of American Bandstand or school videos taken back then. The correctness of your viewpoints is clearly answered by yourself in that you have achieved only "limited success." Also why are you a mother of four with a man's name on your email and so at odds with some of the reply's? Lighten up, this is only a public forum that expresses peoples views and thoughts about various topics; that's all. Calm down and relax, no big deal.z

I think allowing unfettered freedom in clothing selection for SCHOOL (repeat: school) is the root of a lot of problems, especially for girls. But I am less concerned about sexism than economics and parenting. The reality is, society places heavy emphasis on external beauty and image, and teens especially are very conscious of this fact as their bodies change. Comparisons with classmates are inevitable. When your "popular" skinny daughter wears a skimpy outfit to school and tells my daughter that she is dressed like an old lady because she wears a cute summer dress, I have a problem with that. Then my daughter will tell me that she looks uncool and needs to wear what your daughter is wearing. Yet she has an internal struggle about whether she looks too fat for the outfit. You have conflicting standards at home, and you also have disparity in what parents can afford. Annoying brand names and advertising/marketing dominate our media. Across the US, we have parents who allow their kids to shop till they drop at the mall. In fact, some in Palo Alto even make this a theme/activity for birthday parties. ???? What is a parent to do?

UNIFORMS IN SCHOOL! End of story. After you leave campus, wear whatever you want. Kids won't die from being deprived of fashion creativity and showing off the latest brands when they need to focus on learning. Heck, uniforms can be "cute" too. My Paly junior likes Castilleja's skirts. They can also be casual. Set some boundaries and let the students vote on it. Have a warm-season outfit and a cold-season outfit. Just spare me the regular fight over Aberskimpy & Fish, or Forever Size2, or whatever they're called, PLEASE.

Jessica T,

This is somewhat of a tangent, but since you mention it in your blog post: where in India did you live, where girls were required to cover their heads??? Some remote Muslim village? Being a native of India, having lived and gone to school there as a teen, and visiting frequently, I have NEVER observed this as a fashion trend or practice among middle-to-upper class Indians, educated Indians, and even economically disadvantaged, old-fashioned classes when the girl is unmarried - at least among Hindus. Nor are they part of any school uniform that I have ever seen. I do agree, however, that traditional Indian families frown upon kids wearing clothing that would be considered "sexy". They want children to retain their innocence. After they reach adulthood, well, it depends on where you live and your individual family's standards. Go to Mumbai or New Delhi and you will see what I mean. Young ladies copy Bollywood. Besides, has anyone noticed that the traditional "sari" exposes the mid-riff? I also agree that most girls and women choose more modest attire (jeans, skirts, dresses, salwars, etc.) This is part of the culture. When in Rome.

Now Pakistan is a whole different story.

The dress code is a hot topic! Thanks for your many comments - it's been interesting to hear multiple perspectives. @School can do without fashion - We lived in Hyderabad. My daughter wasn't required to cover her head, but as you mention that custom is alive and well. My daughter saw women do this routinely around our housing complex and certainly on the streets and in the city. She actually wore a uniform (as did the boys) at her school there. She came to accept it, but it definitely stifled her self-expression.

Just a thought... I wonder how many of the pro dress code women wear yoga pants as their uniform. Dress code to go to Safeway, pardon, Whole Foods?

TO DENNIS----I AM A 72 YR OLD MAN AND NEVERR CLAIMED TO BE A "
MOTHER OF 4." I HAVE FOUGHT MANDATORY UNIS FOR 20 YRS AS A LAWYER AND A MEMBER OF THE LARGEST HS-ONLY SCHOOL BD IN PHOENIX.

MY KEY VALUES ARE DIVERSITY AND INDIVIDUAL CHOICE. I SEE NOTHING WRONG WITH FORMAL CLOTHES--BUT ALSO NOTHING WRONG WITH
CASUAL CLOTGHES LIKE TEES AND JEANS. CONTRA YOU, THEY ARE N O T CONSIDERED "PLAY CLOTHES" IN THE U.S, CURRENTLY. I ESTIMATE THAT 80+ PCT OF KIDS WEAR SUCH CLOTHES TO SCHOOL MOST DAYS--WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF COLORS AND PATTERNS. I BELIEVE YOUR CALIF KIDS DO THE SAME; YOU ARE THE ONE WITH RADICAL IDEAS OF SCHOOL WEAR;. I FAVOR THE HISTORICAL STATUS QUO.

Cover up makes a good point. With parents dressing in pajamas to school drop off, coffee shops, sweaty work out clothes in grocery stores (yes I have stopped in at Safeway on my way to the gym but not dripping sweat after a workout and only done it occasionally when I need one or two items) we are sending messages to our kids. They do mirror our attitudes and if we can't be bothered to dress appropriately for our activities, they can hardly be expected to bother either.

ONE ARGUIMENT AGAINST UNIFORMS IS THAT KIDS NEED TO LEARN WHAT ARE APPROPRIATE CLOTHES FOR DIFFEDRENT OCCASIONS---A JOB MADE IMPOSSIBLE IF KIDS HAVE TO WEAR IDENTICAL CLOTHES DAILY. KIDS CAN WEAT TEES TO SCHOOL, BUT MUST WEAR COLLARED SHIRTS TO SCHOOL DANCES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHEN I WEAS ON OUR SCHOOL BD, THE STUDENT REP CAME ONCE IN A WHITE T-SHTRT AND SHORTS. I COUNSELED HIM HE HAD TO DRESS MORE FORMALLY FOR BOARD MEETINGS.

Jessica T, thanks for clarifying about where in India you were staying. That explains it. Outside of Kashmir, Hyderabad has the highest percentage of Muslim residents (I think around 40%) among the big cities, and the overwhelming majority are Sunni. Your daughter's nanny must have been applying local Islamic standards, which is strange, considering the majority are still Hindu. Did the Hindus there also cover their heads? Would be an interesting study.

TO DENNIS---NO, THE PHOENIX HEAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS. PICTURES OF SCHOOL KIDS ACROSS THE NATION SHOW MOST WEAR JEANS--AND TOPS ARE A MIX OF
POLOS, TEES AND COLLARED OXFORDS. PERSONAlly, I only wore collarred button-up shirts after age 11; no tee shirts until i came home at age 70 after a stroke! ---not even at home!

There should be no dress code, That reason being is, People use clothes to express themselves, like hair. Schools now a days are controlling everything, First it was control freak Micheal Obama telling us what we can and cant eat, now its dress code? what next??? they're gunna start putting locks on our tvs?