By Chandrama Anderson
E-mail Chandrama Anderson
About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in ... (More)
About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in Silicon Valley for 15 years before becoming a therapist. My background in high-tech is helpful in understanding local couples' dynamics and the pressures of living here. I am a wife, mom, sister, friend, author, and lifelong advocate for causes I believe in (such as marriage equality). My parents are both deceased. My son graduated culinary school and is heading toward a degree in Sociology. I enjoy reading, hiking, water fitness, movies, 49ers and Stanford football, Giants baseball, and riding a tandem bike with my husband. I love the beach and mountains; nature is my place of restoration. In my work with couples, and in this blog, I combine knowledge from many fields to bring you my best ideas, tips, tools and skills, plus book and movie reviews, and musings to help you be your genuine self, find your own voice, and have a happy and healthy relationship. Don't be surprised to hear about brain research and business skills, self-soothing techniques from all walks of life, suggestions and experiments, and anything that lights my passion for couples. (Author and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Calif. Lic # MFC 45204.) (Hide)
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I read a beautiful piece you wrote sharing your experience with pregnancy loss
. I too have one lovely son, but suffered four miscarriages within the last year and a half. I'm in therapy but suspect I need something more specific to the experience. I can't find anything in my area. Do you have any specific online groups or listings for in person groups you can recommend? Maybe I'll find something that way.
Thank you for writing to me. I am so sorry to hear of the many losses you have suffered in the last 18 months. My heart goes out to you. So much hope, broken dreams, loss of the future . . .
Ask your therapist or OB-GYN if they know of any local, in-person groups. Two online support groups I know well are Open to Hope and The Compassionate Friends. The latter has local chapters in many areas. Also, you may want to read my book,
No U-Turn at Mercy Street: A Memoir and Resource Guide for Grieving Parents.
Other online support is available through these organizations (I don't personally have any experience with them):
Please know that whatever you are feeling and experiencing is normal for grieving miscarriage.
To help educate those around you about grief, and have a list of things to say and not to say, check out
The Language of Grieving (it's free, pass it along).
I wish you and your family all my best through this most difficult journey you never wanted to be on.