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Toddling Through the Silicon Valley

By Cheryl Bac

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About this blog: I'm a wife, stay-at-home mom, home cook, marathon runner, and PhD. I recently moved to the Silicon Valley after completing my PhD in Social Psychology and becoming a mother one month apart. Before that, I ran seven marathons incl...  (More)

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Let's Have Lunch

Uploaded: Mar 15, 2014
As a new parent, it's easy to get into a routine - the same playgroups, restaurants, storytimes, and parks week-in and week-out. If an activity occurs between nap times and keeps little one occupied for 30+ minutes, what's not to love about it? And during these activities, it's also easy to gravitate toward others who are going through similar parenting challenging and who hold similar parenting views, opinions and strategies. Who wants to argue when these outings could be your main source of adult conversation for the day? Instead you most likely want to feel heard, understood, and accepted.

Recently I've come across a couple of articles about ending the "mommy wars." I don't encounter "mommy wars" during my everyday life. We are lucky enough to live in an area that is filled with many new parents. If you don't get along with someone, just turn your head and strike up a conversation with one of the other twenty parents at the event.

The main divide I experience is between my friends who decided to stay at home and those who returned back to work full-time after maternity leave. It's not that we are fighting a war, but that it's a challenge to coordinate schedules when not only considering nap times and kid-friendly environments but also work obligations and traffic. Because of this, we don't always bump into each other.

Nevertheless, a couple of weeks ago we were lucky enough to grab lunch with one of our dear working friends. Although our 9-5 lives differ, the conversation flowed almost seamlessly (even with some squirmy toddlers at the table).

Not only is it wonderful to shake things up a bit and reconnect, but it's a great reminder that although our choices may differ, our friendships can stay strong. I know eating lunch together wont "end the mommy wars," but it seems to help those of us with very young children stop a war from from starting in the first place.


 +  Like this comment
Posted by Mother of 4, a resident of Palo Verde School,
on Mar 15, 2014 at 10:36 am

This reminds me of one Saturday morning when we had only 2 toddlers and were invited to friends in a similar situation for breakfast at their home. We arrived at 9.00 am, had bagels, cheese, coldcuts, fruit, coffee and juice and everyone had a great time - including the Dads. The biggest problem was knowing when and how to leave around 11.00. But it was a great idea and we should have repeated it.

 +  Like this comment
Posted by Jade, a resident of Barron Park,
on Mar 15, 2014 at 1:11 pm

What a beautiful way to keep connected and even better, blogging it to memorize the precious moments and heart-warming friendship. Thanks Cheryl! Pretty soon we will join you guys for weekday fun and activities. Cheers!

 +  Like this comment
Posted by Cheryl Bac, a Palo Alto Online blogger,
on Mar 15, 2014 at 2:10 pm

Cheryl Bac is a registered user.

Mother of 4 - Thanks for sharing your story. I agree, we also didn't want the lunch to end.

Jade - Thanks for commenting! Wonderful memories and friendships indeed.

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