By Chandrama Anderson
E-mail Chandrama Anderson
About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in ... (More)
About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in Silicon Valley for 15 years before becoming a therapist. My background in high-tech is helpful in understanding local couples' dynamics and the pressures of living here. I am a wife, mom, sister, friend, author, and lifelong advocate for causes I believe in (such as marriage equality). My parents are both deceased. My son graduated culinary school and is heading toward a degree in Sociology. I enjoy reading, hiking, water fitness, movies, 49ers and Stanford football, Giants baseball, and riding a tandem bike with my husband. I love the beach and mountains; nature is my place of restoration. In my work with couples, and in this blog, I combine knowledge from many fields to bring you my best ideas, tips, tools and skills, plus book and movie reviews, and musings to help you be your genuine self, find your own voice, and have a happy and healthy relationship. Don't be surprised to hear about brain research and business skills, self-soothing techniques from all walks of life, suggestions and experiments, and anything that lights my passion for couples. (Author and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Calif. Lic # MFC 45204.) (Hide)
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Uploaded: Mar 7, 2014
We're getting an extra hour of daylight, starting on Sunday. I do not want you to work for another hour a day. I want you to spend time with your beloved (without devices). Go for a walk or bike ride, have a meal together, play cards or a game, listen to music, sit on the couch and cuddle, have sex, bake cookies., go to the beach, hold hands, talk, share . . . whatever makes you feel connected.
We all need love and secure attachment. We're biologically wired for it. Make time for it. Sure, something else won't get done. But something else won't get done anyway.
Please don't let your relationship drift away, relegated to the bottom of your priority list. The world will not come to an end while you care for yourself and one another.
It might feel strange at first to s l o w d o w n. You might have thoughts or feelings that are unsettling. It's okay, feelings are like road signs -- they are there to let us know there's something we need to attend to. We don't park our car under the "Yield" sign; that will cause a crash. Once we address the feeling, it too shall pass.
Enjoy your time together. When you're 85 or so, you won't look back on your life with the regret that you missed out on one another.
What is it worth to you?
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