By Jessica T
About this blog: I'm a late thirties mother of a ten-year-old and infant twins. My family moved to Menlo Park 6 years ago from Virginia - where I grew up, went to college, got married, had my first born, and got an MBA (in that order). I'm a manag...
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About this blog: I'm a late thirties mother of a ten-year-old and infant twins. My family moved to Menlo Park 6 years ago from Virginia - where I grew up, went to college, got married, had my first born, and got an MBA (in that order). I'm a manager at Google, Inc. (Please note: The views expressed in this blog are my personal views and not those of Google.) My husband grew up in Los Angeles and is a novelist and professor at San Jose State University. Our daughter attends the Menlo Park public schools, and I was a member of the Menlo Park-Atherton Education Foundation board for three years. I am now a board member for the Center for Literary Arts at SJSU. I struggled with secondary infertility for five years and recently conceived and delivered fraternal twins - a healthy baby girl and boy in May 2013. I've worked (and pursued my graduate degree) since my elder daughter was twelve weeks old. I supported my husband throughout his graduate education, and now I'm the primary breadwinner for our family. I have coped with the pressures and angst of what that means for many years. I am lucky to have a husband with a flexible schedule; he shoulders the lion's share of housework, cooking, and childcare in our home. I'm looking forward to engaging with men and women who can relate to the challenges of modern day life in Silicon Valley.
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What is it like to have a tween? My husband says being a tween is all attitude and no substance. Think eye rolling and hair flicking along with a whole lot ten year olds still don't understand about the world. When I ask about my daughter's friends, she tells me "It's none of your business, Mom!"
Take this story which my daughter recounted recently. Her 5th grade teacher was reading out loud to the class and came across a word she wasn't familiar with. It was the word "plight," and I admire my daughter's teacher for using it as a teachable moment for the class. She stopped reading and told the class that she was going to look up its meaning. She referenced an online dictionary and then assigned "plight" as a spelling word for the week. One girl in the class said to the teacher, "You don't know what plight means?" Believe it or not, this did not land her in the principal's office like it might have during my time...I suppose my daughter's teacher is more patient and astute with tweens than I am! Ten minutes later, when the kids were copying down the spelling words, the young lady had the audacity to ask my daughter what the definition of "plight" was, because she hadn't been paying attention.
Or here's another example: I showed my daughter my bio for this blog, and she snorted, "Breadwinner! You aren't the breadwinner in this family. I am. I can't even remember the last time you baked bread!" My husband and I just looked askance at her.
"Do you know what 'breadwinner' means? Because it doesn't mean someone who bakes the best bread?"
Luckily my tween still has childish good humor and a little bit of humility. "It doesn't?" she giggled.
What behaviors are common with your tweens? (And how do you cope?)