Do not enter signs on the children's bedroom doors
Original post made by Wondering, Charleston Meadows, on Oct 26, 2006
I have been reading this newgroup on a regular basis and there is a wealth of information that gets exchange. Occassionally discussions go down the 'flame' path - but most of the times the honest opinions reveal a lot more. So, here is a question that I have had for a long time - and please, don't take this on the wrong path. I am not passing any judgement - just want to know when thing started changing and what do parents /grandparents think about it.
A few years ago, there was news about a teenager collecting ammunition in his bedroom and wanting to blow up some part of DeAnza college. What surprised me the most was that the mother was not aware of the amount of ammunition the kid had in his bedroom. They were not talking about one or two guns - they found a good chunk of stuff, enough to blow up a section of a building. I think the kid got caught since some clerk at a photo development place was vigilant and called the cops (don't recall the details). What surprised me was the mother's comment - she said that the son had "Do not enter"; "Keep away" type of signs on his bedroom door and didn't like anyone comng into his room. So she wanted to respect his opinion and value his privacy and hence never went into the bedroom ... I could never fathom this part.
Recently a collegue mentioned that her sister's kid was doing drugs in his bedroom .. the sister didn't know and was not aware, since the kid would not let anyone enter his room.
I grew up in an Asian country - in a city where space was a premium. We had a two bedroom apartment and had grandparents staying with us. We were three kids. All the rooms were open to anyone and everyone ... when it was time to study or if we needed a moment on our own, we found some comfortable chair or plopped a cushion in the corner of a room -- and it worked just fine. I fondly recall relatives/extended family showing up at our door step (unannounced) and the letter announcing their arrival reaching on the following day (LOL). The whole thing about needing privacy, not wanting to share what was going on with the others in the family was never even an issue.
My parents didn't snoop into our things, but they were aware of what was going on. Each one of us kids had hidden treasures (candies) and diaries placed in strategic locations in the house - but thats as far as it went.
Recently I was talking with our elderly neighbor, who said "things were not this way" when she was growing up( 70+ yrs ) ! She grew up in Palo Alto and had one of those track three bedroom homes. They were two sisters sharing a room and parent walked in anytime. She was very upset with the "younger generation of these days and their attitudes :)"
When did the things change - what do parents on this group feel about the "do not enter" type of signs on the doors and how do you handle if your kid asks you to keep out of his/her room ?