Local Blogs

Couple's Net

By Chandrama Anderson

E-mail Chandrama Anderson

About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and have lived in and around Palo Alto since 1969. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in Silicon Valley for 15 years before becoming a therapist. My background i...  (More)

View all posts from Chandrama Anderson

Not Witty or Fun

Uploaded: Jul 21, 2014
As a follow on to the last post, about serial relationships and the "conversation with their ex, in front of their new spouse while their kids look on soaking it all up?" I would venture to say from what I see and hear in my office it is agony for all involved.

Switching kids from one home to another is very hard on the kids. Most adults are trying to survive these verbal and situational interactions, hoping their kids don't see and hear. Of course, kids are adept at reading all the signs between their parents.

Certain parents are not good about keeping their thoughts about their X from their kids and that has to be a top priority, along with not using kids to pass messages, papers, etc.

The research shows that "blending" a family takes about seven years.

Many marriages can be saved and in fact become stronger and more intimate. Many people give up too early in the counseling process, especially after waiting too long to begin the process (average six years of problems).

Please don't confuse TV with life.

Comments

There are no comments yet for this post
Sorry, but further commenting on this topic has been closed.

Palo Alto: Pastis owner to open second French restaurant
By Elena Kadvany | 3 comments | 2,327 views

Marriage Interview 9: Make a Date to Have Sex Once or Twice a Week and . . .
By Chandrama Anderson | 14 comments | 1,768 views

My College Mindset is Intrinsically Motivated
By John Raftrey and Lori McCormick | 6 comments | 1,412 views

The Four E's--Pope Francis and the Middle Class
By Steve Levy | 5 comments | 1,379 views

The Remedy to Inadequate Citizen Input? More of the same
By Douglas Moran | 10 comments | 850 views