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Couple's Net

By Chandrama Anderson

E-mail Chandrama Anderson

About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and have lived in and around Palo Alto since 1969. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in Silicon Valley for 15 years before becoming a therapist. My background i...  (More)

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Love is Sustained by Action; a Pattern of Daily Devotion

Uploaded: Apr 4, 2014
"The Five Magic Hours" (from Dr. John Gottman of the 'Love Lab' in Seattle) is for those of you who are busy:

- Two minutes every morning, eye contact, kisses and hugs.
- 20 minutes every evening to talk about your day (10 minutes to talk, and 10 minutes to listen very, very well).
- A two hour date EVERY week (take turns planning it, and no talking about your kids).

We all need and to be seen, heard, touched, and appreciated.

Your kids really will survive being without you one evening a week (and actually thrive as you become a happier couple).

Try it for 30 days, and let me know what you notice.


 +  Like this comment
Posted by Justin C. Taylor - Saratoga Springs NY, a resident of another community,
on May 29, 2014 at 1:13 pm

This so very true. I know in my life and my relationships it is so meaningful to have the weekly "date night". Life gets busy and hectic and it helps very much to have a special person to break up the normal routine. The physical hugs and kiss are also important. I have been close to families who were not like mine, one's that did not express. It almost feels as if it is a "need" to have the physical closeness.

Justin Taylor - Saratoga Springs NY

 +  Like this comment
Posted by Chandrama Anderson, a Palo Alto Online blogger,
on May 29, 2014 at 5:09 pm

Chandrama Anderson is a registered user.

Justin, thanks for writing in. You sound like you may be a "touch" Love Language person. You might enjoy the quiz for The 5 Love Languages.

Sorry, but further commenting on this topic has been closed.

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