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Couple's Net

By Chandrama Anderson

E-mail Chandrama Anderson

About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and have lived in and around Palo Alto since 1969. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in Silicon Valley for 15 years before becoming a therapist. My background i...  (More)

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The Valley of Heartís Delight

Uploaded: Nov 4, 2013
What is now Silicon Valley was originally known as The Valley of Heart's Delight for its concentration of orchards, flowering trees, and plants. Until the 1960s it was the largest fruit production region in the world. Picture that . . . imagine the scent . . .

When I came here as a child in 1969, downtown Palo Alto rolled up at 5 o'clock; it was quiet. My family lived on Channing in a gray Victorian near the old PA Med. My siblings and I ran around barefoot, mostly unsupervised. We had a rescued Keeshond named Love.

I want to encourage you to make your relationship your heart's delight, and your home your haven. There are many things pulling us in multiple directions. What if we didn't complain about our husband or wife? What if we thought, felt, and said kind things about and to him or her? What if we asked directly for help, or a change in behavior? What if we worked on our relationship as though we were working an orchard? Planting, weeding, watering; tending, trimming, and harvesting the luscious fruit, year after year. Yes, it is work.

Perhaps the path to The Valley of Heart's Delight is this: behave in loving and lovable ways. And while we're doing that, let's not keep score of how loving and lovable s/he is or isn't being.

Comments

Posted by Respite, a resident of Midtown,
on Nov 4, 2013 at 5:09 pm

Too often we treat our homes and families like our work projects instead of safe havens for all who live there. Thank you for these helpful reminders, Chandrama. I am enjoying your blog.


Posted by Chandrama Anderson, a Palo Alto Online blogger,
on Nov 4, 2013 at 7:13 pm

Chandrama Anderson is a registered user.

Thanks for writing in and letting me know. Post a question sometime if you like.


Posted by Mary N, a resident of University South,
on Nov 5, 2013 at 10:17 am

Hello Chandrama,
Yes, I do remember as I moved here in 1969 to Cupertino for a few years before Palo Alto. What lovely orchards and memories. Now I'm in University South and it's changed less than other neighborhoods since your childhood but with a lovely park for children rather than a medical clinic. Wanted you to know I'm appreciating your blogs, they're very rich and right on target.
Your associate, Mary


Posted by Chandrama Anderson, a Palo Alto Online blogger,
on Nov 5, 2013 at 2:04 pm

Chandrama Anderson is a registered user.

Thank you Mary.


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