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Toddling Through the Silicon Valley

By Cheryl Bac

E-mail Cheryl Bac

About this blog: I'm a wife, stay-at-home mom, home cook, marathon runner, and PhD. I recently moved to the Silicon Valley after completing my PhD in Social Psychology and becoming a mother one month apart. Before that, I ran seven marathons incl...  (More)

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Uploaded: Oct 7, 2013
We've all heard that it takes a village to raise a child. Well, in the Silicon Valley it takes an entire peninsula. Anyone would be impressed by the overwhelming number of activities and resources available to parents in Palo Alto. But the best resources are our fellow mothers, fathers and nannies - aka "mommy friends."

Although there are world-class activities just around the corner, I find myself driving to San Francisco, Mountain View, Half Moon Bay and everywhere in between to hang out with the mommy friends I've grown nearest and dearest to.

These are the mommy friends who forgive you when you don't notice a new haircut or glasses.

The mommy friends who listen to you rant weekly about your kid's sleeping, eating, and teething habits.

These are the mommy friends who understand why you need a babysitter, nanny or morning off even though you are "just a stay-at-home mom."

These are the mommy friends who "ooh" and "aah" at your little one's milestones. Be it as minuscule as trying a new food or as monumental as walking.

These are the mommy friends who remind us that we aren't terrible mothers when our babies only eat cheerios for a week, don't sleep through the night, or scream their faces off in Whole Foods. We've all been there.

These are the mommy friends who've heard birth stories countless times, but will listen to each other retell them over and over again whenever the topic arises (and during the first year, it always arises).

These are the mommy friends who are our better judgment when we are sleep deprived. There are days when all we can do is drag ourselves out of bed. There is no possibility of intellectual conversation coming out of our mouths, but these mommy friends enjoy our company anyway.

These are the mommy friends who will raise your child with you. So although challenging at times, what better way to spend our days than driving all over the peninsula to be surrounded by support, love, tears, and, of course, laughter.

Comments

Posted by Jade, a resident of Community Center,
on Oct 8, 2013 at 9:30 pm

I\'m so grateful to have a lovely mommy friend like you and others in our Monday play date and dragon baby group. Hanging out with you gals and babies are like doing energy shots, hydration pack, morning coffee, happy hour beer (or Clausthaler Golden Amber if still breastfeeding :)


Posted by CherylBac, a resident of Menlo Park,
on Oct 8, 2013 at 9:51 pm

CherylBac is a registered user.

What a wonderful and sweet compliment! Thank you so much for reading my blog and commenting. I completely agree that our playgroups help us all re-energize and prepare for the challenges ahead.


Posted by Sally Torbey, a resident of Old Palo Alto,
on Oct 9, 2013 at 3:26 pm

Those same mommy friends will see you through potty training, first day of school jitters, soccer carpools, driver's ed, teen tantrums, and menopause. Thanks for the reminder to be thankful for our friends!


Posted by CherylBac, a resident of Menlo Park,
on Oct 9, 2013 at 5:37 pm

CherylBac is a registered user.

Thanks Sally! Yes, there is so much to look forward to in the years to come. I feel incredibly lucky to be surrounded by so much support.


Posted by Hillary, a resident of another community,
on Oct 10, 2013 at 1:44 pm

Hey Cheryl,

Yes, indeed, don\\\'t know what I\\\'d do without my Mommy Friends! Having sympathetic ears listen and provide help, perspective or simply a sounding board is awesome. Other people listen, but if they\\\'re not going through it now, too, it\\\'s just not the same and they can\\\'t relate very well. Every minute detail is fascinating to us, so very thankful to have a Mother\\\'s Group and other friends to help be there during this special and sometimes confusing time. Why is he doing this or that? Is that normal? Much better being with Friends than just looking it up on Babycenter. :o)


Posted by CherylBac, a resident of Menlo Park,
on Oct 10, 2013 at 2:15 pm

CherylBac is a registered user.

Hillary, Thanks so much for reading my blog and commenting :) I agree, the "is this normal?" question is always popping up and it's so reassuring when it is answered with a resounding "Yes!" It's extremely comforting to know that others are in the same boat.


Posted by Adult reader, a resident of College Terrace,
on Oct 12, 2013 at 11:15 pm

What drivel. I hope that the people whose slot you took in college and graduate school don\'t ever read this. They\'ll feel awful.


Posted by CherylBac, a resident of Menlo Park,
on Oct 13, 2013 at 2:06 am

CherylBac is a registered user.

Adult reader, it's quite common (especially here) for very well-educated men and women to choose to be stay-at-home parents.


Posted by Adult reader, a resident of College Terrace,
on Oct 13, 2013 at 9:07 am

Really? How many male well educated stay at home "mommy friends" do you have? What's the ratio of boy mommy friends to girl mommy friends?


Posted by CherylBac, a resident of Menlo Park,
on Oct 13, 2013 at 12:45 pm

CherylBac is a registered user.

I know a few well-educated dads who stay home with their kids.


Posted by Adult reader, a resident of College Terrace,
on Oct 13, 2013 at 1:26 pm

This blog is almost a parody. I'm sure you and your baby are adorable but the traditional gender roles that you are celebrating here are not a good model for our daughters including yours if you have one. Parenting is a 50/50 obligation between both parents not the debilitating (mommy brain?) gendered experience you describe. Where is your husband? You are promoting a pre-Friedan 1950s housewife mentality. Even Betty Draper was more egalitarian than this drek.


Posted by Jessica & Eloise K., a resident of another community,
on Oct 15, 2013 at 3:25 pm

Miss you Cheryl Bac!!!! (and CamMan of course!) Those Bay Area moms are lucky to have you!


Posted by CherylBac, a resident of Menlo Park,
on Oct 15, 2013 at 5:44 pm

CherylBac is a registered user.

Jessica & Eloise K - Thank you so much for the kind words! We miss you all. Thank you for so many memories during those first sweet, chaotic, and exhausting first months. How are the toddler years treating you?


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